Flooding in Lagos

The following WhatsApp chat ensued between Akpos and his boss:
Akpos: Boss, I won’t be able to come to work today.
Boss: Why not?
Akpos: It rained heavily in my area and the whole place is flooded.
Boss: You listed “swimming”  as your hobby in your CV. So hurry up and come to work! I’m expecting you!
Akpos: Jesus Christ!!!

Game Show

A Ghanaian, a Kenyan and a Nigerian entered into a game show.

The host explained the rules, “I’m going to say jokes for an hour straight and whoever doesn’t laugh at the end receives $5000!”

The host starts and after 15 minutes the Ghanaian is out. He continues and after 40 minutes the Kenyan is out.

Nigeria Joke: No Fuel

UCHE: Mommy, can I go to Chidera’s house?

MOMMY: No!

UCHE: Why?

MOMMY: No fuel.

UCHE: Ahn ahn! I’m using my legs.

MOMMY: If you get missing, is it not a car we are going to use to find you?